It feels like all the veins and arteries in my body have become these strands of energy reaching out to Jess.  I want to be with her RIGHT NOW.  Just to sit and talk to her.  I know now that I will be closer to being healed when I know I’m doing this for me and not for her.  I need to get to a point where I stop thinking about her every day.  I fantasize about her constantly.  All beautiful women remind me of her.  But I don’t just fantasize about the sexual aspects; I daydream of her laughter, the way her face wrinkles when she smiles, making her breakfast, the thrill I feel seeing her for the first time on a particular day, eating a meal with her, debating the nature of reality, and on and on.

I know time is supposed to heal all wounds and I certainly must have gotten over other women in my life, but only time will tell if this terrible ache is justified.